#2,632. BloodRayne (2005)

 

I knew nothing about BloodRayne when I popped the DVD into my player, and as the opening credits rolled I marveled at the list of actors assembled for the movie. Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Udo Kier, Michelle Rodriguez, Geraldine Chaplin, rock star Meat Loaf… I mean, wow!

Then these same credits mentioned that BloodRayne was based on a video game, and suddenly the film lost a little of its appeal.

It wasn’t until I found out who directed it, though, that I let out a groan: Mr. Uwe Boll!

Prior to this, I’d only seen two Uwe Boll movies - House of the Dead and Seed - and couldn’t stand either of them. So, armed with the good as well as the bad, what was my reaction to this 2005 film?

Well, I’ll say this: it’s the best Uwe Boll movie I’ve watched thus far!

A dark fantasy, BloodRayne’s convoluted story centers on Rayne (Kristanna Loken), part-human and part-vampire, who wants to kill her vampire father Kagen (Kingsley). To this end, she teams up with Vladimir (Madsen), Katarin (Rodriguez), and Sebastian (Matthew Davis), all members of the Brimstone Society, an organization whose sole purpose is the destruction of every vampire.

There are subplots and tons of asides as well, including Katarin’s frequent correspondences with her father Elrich (played by Billy Zane), who is in league with Kagen, so things get a bit muddled as the movie progresses. Also, most of the CGI is crap, and Boll wouldn’t know how to shoot an action scene to save his life (his frequent cuts are beyond jarring).

So, bottom line: BloodRayne is a bad movie. But it’s not “Uwe Boll Bad”; I did enjoy a few scenes (including Chaplin’s brief appearance as a fortune teller and Kier’s as a Monk), and the gore effects weren’t terrible (the only bits of CGI that actually impressed me).

I can’t recommend it, but if you’ve suffered through other Uwe Boll pictures, BloodRayne might surprise you.
Rating: 3.5 out of 10