To prove to the New York mob that he still has clout, Parisian millionaire Phillipe Douvier (Robert Webber, not even attempting a French accent), who is also head of the drug cartel known as the “French Connection”, decides to assassinate the city’s most decorated law enforcement official: Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Sellers). Of course, as we’ve seen time and again, killing someone as imbecilic as Clouseau is no easy task. But Douvier’s henchmen manage to pull it off, shooting Clouseau dead in his car, which then slams into a tree and explodes on impact.
All of France mourns the loss of a true hero, but what nobody realizes is that Douvier’s assassins killed the wrong person! Just before the shooting, Clouseau was held up at gunpoint by cross-dressing criminal Claude Russo (Sue Lloyd), who forced the inspector to swap clothes with him, then drove off in his car. With Russo dead but the world thinking it was him, Clouseau goes undercover and, with the help of his trusty manservant Cato (Burt Kwouk) and Douvier’s jilted mistress Simone (Dyan Cannon), flies to Hong Kong to stop a major drug deal and arrest Douvier.
Anyone familiar with the Pink Panther series will know what to expect from Revenge of the Pink Panther. Early in the movie, Clouseau visits the shop of his disguise maker, Professor Auguste Balls (Graham Stark), and you can just imagine the double-entendres that pop up every time this character’s name is mentioned! There is also yet another hilarious showdown between Clouseau and Cato, who is under strict orders to attack his boss every time he comes home (what the two don’t know is that one of Douvier’s hired killers, a Kung Fu expert played by Ed Parker, is also in the apartment). And while I think the previous entry in the series, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, had more laughs, I give Revenge of the Pink Panther credit for having a somewhat cohesive story, which was lacking in its predecessor.
Also back is Herbert Lom as former Chief Inspector Dreyfus, once again confined to an insane asylum. Despite transforming into an evil genius in The Pink Panther Strikes Again and attempting to destroy the world, Dreyfus is not only given a full release from the asylum but also restored to his previous rank of Chief Inspector!
Only in a Pink Panther movie.
Once back on the force, Dreyfus’s first assignment is to track down Clouseau’s killers. While he may secretly rejoice over the death of his nemesis, he does take the job seriously, even if it’s hard for him to hold back his elation. In what is my favorite scene of the movie, Dreyfus is ordered to deliver Clouseau’s eulogy (which was written by the Commissioner’s wife), with the mourners mistaking his stifled laughter each time he praises Clouseau for tears.
I’m not a fan of the grand finale of Revenge of the Pink Panther, a slapstick-riddled chase through the streets of Hong Kong, and the continuous racial slurs directed at Cato, not to mention the fact that Sellers (and other Caucasians) occasionally appear in Asian make-up, don’t play as well today as they might have in 1978. That said, I did laugh, and often, over the course of the movie. As a Pink Panther film, this was a decent swan song for Sellers.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Like a character straight out of a classic Disney movie, she even talks to bluebirds (no, they don’t talk back). She may live in a bad part of town, but that will never keep Miss Meadows from letting the world know she is, at all times, a very happy young woman, and that she is never afraid.
Why is Miss Meadows not afraid? Because, as we see in the film’s pre-title sequence, she also carries a gun in her tiny purse, and does not hesitate to use it when trouble arises.
Miss Meadows is a naive but happy-go-lucky first-grade substitute teacher. Miss Meadows is also a vigilante, taking down any and all lowlifes that get in her way. Written and directed by Karen Leigh Hopkins, 2014’s Miss Meadows is a comedy / drama that plays like a cross between Mary Poppins and Ms. 45.
Holmes delivers a strong, occasionally heartbreaking performance as a woman who loves life, loves her job (she develops a strong rapport with the kids in her class, especially Heather, played by Ava Kolker), and talks with her mother (Jean Smart) almost every night on the phone. She’s even found love for the first time after being swept off her feet by the town’s sheriff (James Badge Dale). In one of the film’s sweeter scenes, Miss Meadows and the Sheriff go on a date, picnicking in the park and dancing to imaginary accordion music (the Sheriff confesses that, were he not in law enforcement, he would have wanted to be a professional accordion player).
Next-door neighbor Mrs. Davenport (Mary Kay Place) says that the neighborhood has gotten brighter ever since Miss Meadows moved in, but also warns that the young woman should be careful on her walks. It seems that, due to overcrowding, some 2,000 inmates from the local prison were given early parole, many of whom are now residing in that very neighborhood. But Mrs. davenport doesn’t know what we know: Miss Meadows is more than capable of defending herself and dishing out her own brand of justice, which she does on several occasions.
She even confronts Skyler (Callan Mulvey), who lives a few doors down from her, when she discovers he had served time for child abuse. In a poignant scene, Miss Meadows sets up a ‘Welcome to the Neighborhood’ tea party in Skyler’s front room, pouring him a cup while warning him that, should he harm another child, she will shoot him dead.
It’s no big secret that a trauma from her past is what drives Miss Meadows to take the law into her own hands, and it is revealed to us, piece by piece, throughout the film via flashbacks (with Anna Moravcik playing Miss Meadows as a child).
It is but one of several surprises that Miss Meadows has in store for viewers. Some of those surprises are quite dark, and it’s amazing how well the film balances its brighter aspects with the darkness surrounding its title character.
With an outstanding performance by Katie Holmes at its center, Miss Meadows proved a pleasant surprise, and is a movie I would not hesitate to recommend.
Rating: 8 out of 10
For a performer of her magnitude, Taylor made some daring choices from the latter part of the 1960s onward, including a bickering, less-than glamorous housewife in Mike Nichols’ Who’s Afraid of Virigina Woolf (starring alongside her equally famous husband, Richard Burton) to eyebrow-raising performances in a couple of Joseph Losey movies (Boom, Secret Ceremony).
Many of Taylor-s die-hard fans were less than enthusiastic about much of her later work, films they that considered beneath her talents. Even sleazy.
Identikit, a 1974 Italian film directed by Giuseppe Petroni Griffi, may, on the surface, seem like one of these “sleazy” entries in Taylor’s filmography. And it is an odd movie, to be sure. But it is also fascinating as hell.
Lise (Taylor) is slowly unraveling. A middle-aged American living in Copenhagen, she boards a plane bound for Rome, for what she tells friends will be a much-needed holiday. She arrives in the city during a tumultuous time; radicals are chased through the airport and there’s even a terrorist bombing.
On top of that, local detectives and Interpol agents are circulating pictures of Lise, asking questions of anyone and everyone who came into contact with her recently. Through it all, the emotionally unstable Lise continues to meet people, including Bill (Ian Bannen), an oversexed Brit who swears that the macrobiotic diet has changed his life; a member of the English aristocracy (played by none other than Andy Warhol); and Helen Fiedke (Mona Washbourne), a kindly elderly woman with whom Lise goes shopping one afternoon.
But Lise is looking for more than a good deal at the mall. She wants to form a connection with the “right person”, someone she hopes will be willing to help her carry out a very specific task.
Taylor holds nothing back in her performance, taking Lise from excessively arrogant one moment (she is condescending to sales clerks and maids) to confused and out-of-touch the next (while shopping with Mrs. Liedke, the two head into the bathroom. When Mrs. Liedke goes into a stall and does not respond to Lise, Lise walks out, saying nothing to the bathroom attendant except that the woman in the stall might need help).
When it comes to men, Lise seems equally bewildered. She does not like Bill, yet meets with him on two separate occasions; and once even finds herself alone with seemingly Good Samaritan Carlo (Guido Mannari), who offers her a lift, then drives her to a secluded spot and attempts to rape her. Taylor handles the characters odd mannerisms perfectly, and while we do not always like her, we are captivated by Lise, and on the edge of our seats as her story unfolds.
Director Petroni Griffi expertly builds the mystery surrounding Lise, intercutting flashbacks, flash-forwards, and even a few shocking moments (like a rebel tossing a grenade at a moving vehicle).
Throughout the film, the police interview those who have had run-ins with Lise, some of whom are questioned more intensely than others. Carlo is subjected to a particularly grueling interrogation, a flash-forward that occurs before we the audience even see what transpired between he and Lise.
All the while, we’re wondering what it is that the authorities are after? Did Lise commit a crime? Did she fly to Rome to hide out? Or is it something else?
All questions are answered in the film’s final 10 minutes, and I admit I was surprised by a lot of what transpired towards the end.
Based on the Muriel Spark novel “The Drivers Seat” (which was the film’s title in North America), Identikit is, along with its more bizarre elements, a beautifully shot motion picture. Cinematographer Vittorio Storaro occasionally interjects moments of natural beauty, which momentarily break the story’s tension. This plus the soft piano score by Franco Mannino make Identikit a movie of contradictions, where art occasionally eclipses the chaos.
Thanks to Liz Taylor, and an intriguing storyline that seems fractured at first only to be expertly assembled over time, Identikit is incredibly engaging.
Rating: 9 out of 10
Rusty Wells (Presley) and his band (Gary Crosby, Joby Baker and Jimmy Hawkins) are a smash-hit at the Chicago night club owned by Big Frank (Harold J. Stone). Not wanting to lose his best act, Big Frank refuses to let Rusty and the others leave for Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Big Frank has a change of heart, however, when he learns that his beloved daughter Valerie (Shelley Fabares) is herself heading to Fort Lauderdale with some of her college friends. Issuing orders for Rusty and his buddies to keep an eye on Valerie, Big Frank sends them to Florida, all expenses paid.
But what the guys hope will be a relaxing time in the sun, surrounded by pretty college girls, quickly turns into a 24-hour job when Valerie is romanced by Italian playboy Romano (Fabrizio Mioni). Fearing what Big Frank might do to them if he finds out, Rusty and the others do whatever it takes to keep Valerie and Romano apart, even if it means getting her to fall in love with Rusty himself!
As with many of Elvis’s films, there isn’t a whole lot of story in Girl Happy. But it has its charms. Chief among them is the music, which, though it doesn’t feature any of Presley’s better-known hits, boasts energy to spare. Especially catchy are "Spring Fever" (sung by Presley and Fabares), "Wolf Call" (a duet of sorts where Presley is joined by co-star Mary Ann Mobley, who plays his early love interest Deena), and "The Meanest Girl in Town" (where, to keep her away from Romano, Rusty convinces Valerie to join them on-stage when this song is performed).
While the music is absolutely the selling point of Girl Happy, it does offer up a few entertaining non-musical moments as well, including a very memorable scene in a jail house that features both Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester in the ‘60s TV sitcom The Addams Family) as an overzealous cop and Elvis himself… in drag!
Like Blue Hawaii, Girl Happy takes advantage of its tropical setting, and features more than its share of bikini-clad beauties. But make no mistake: it’s Elvis’s golden voice that will keep you watching until the end.
Rating: 7.5 out of 10
There’s been a tragedy at the Blue Ribbon Laundry factory, a business owned by eccentric millionaire William Gartley (Robert Englund). Soon after Gartley’s adopted daughter Sherry (Vanessa Pike) injured her hand on the folding machine (a large, imposing piece of machinery nicknamed “The Mangler”), her elderly co-worker Mrs. Frawley (Vera Blacker) was pulled into the folder and killed.
Detective John Hunton (Ted Levine) is sent in to investigate, and over the course of a few days - and a few conversations with his late wife’s brother, Mark (Daniel Matmor) - Hunton comes to believe the Mangler has been possessed by an evil spirit. But the closer Hunton comes to discovering the truth, the more pushback he gets from the town’s leaders, who seem to be conspiring to keep what’s happening at the Blue Ribbon Laundry a secret.
Ted Levine is manic as the oft-angry cop with a chip on his shoulder (his wife’s death in a car accident a few years earlier is the catalyst for his aggressive behavior), and while I wouldn’t call it his best performance (it’s no Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs), he at least is interesting enough to keep us watching and rooting for him. Sporting leg braces and plenty of make-up, Robert Englund is also kind of fascinating as the villainous Gartley.
Where The Mangler falls apart is not in its ridiculous story of a possessed machine, but the manner in which it is told. This movie is all over the place. Characters jump to conclusions with very little evidence (Hunton and Mark are planning an exorcism of the machine well before we the audience are convinced they’re right) and others seem to change personalities for no clear reason (Lin Sue, played by Lisa Morris, has a run-in with the Mangler and, before you know it, has transformed from a sympathetic character exploited by Hunton into his cold-blooded accomplice). At times The Mangler is so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but feel Hooper and company missed the boat; this should have been a comedy instead of a straight-up horror movie.
It’s hard to believe the man responsible for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Eaten Alive, Salem’s Lot and Poltergeist also turned out The Mangler. They should have run the script through that folder on the first day of shooting. A little mangling might have helped it make more sense.
Rating: 3.5 out of 10
Not one of these films received a theatrical release overseas.
In the late 1960s, this all changed.
Maverick American producers – wanting to create cheap and edgy genre fare outside of the United States – unleashed a tidal wave of productions from the Philippines into drive-in theaters the world over”.
And with the above text scroll, writer / director Mark Hartley, who previously tackled Ozploitation (Not Quite Hollywood) and would eventually set his sights on the craziness that was Cannon Films (Electric Boogaloo), kicks off 2010’s Machete Maidens Unleashed, his venture into low-budget filmmaking in the Philippines, an era that stretched from the late 1960s to the mid-80s.
Featuring archival footage, plenty of interviews, and stories so batshit they will make your head spin, Machete Maidens Unleashed takes us back to the beginning, when American producers tapped Filipino filmmakers Gerardo de Leon and Eddie Romero to turn out a number of low-budget horror movies. The resulting films, known as the Blood Island movies (Brides of Blood, Mad Doctor of Blood Island and Beast of Blood), were financed and released in the U.S. by Hemisphere Pictures. The main star of these movies was American John Ashley, who accepted the roles as a way of getting over his recent divorce. Ashley fell in love with the Philippines, and would remain there for years.
It was Ashley who tipped off his old pal Roger Corman, who was so intrigued by the stories of cheap local labor that he sent director Jack Hill and a film crew over, resulting in the women-in-prison movie The Big Doll House. It was a huge smash, and led to a string of other exploitation films that featured all the blood and nudity that kept drive-in patrons of the day happy.
Corman would eventually hire local Filipino directors to helm these movies, chief among them Cirio Santiago (Fly Me, TNT Jackson). The benefits of making movies with government assistance (martial law was declared by dictator Ferdinand Marcos in 1972, and he was only too happy to assist his American friends by lending out military troops and equipment for their movies) would even Francis Ford Coppola to fly to the Philippines, where, after years of turmoil and hardship, he would turn out one of the greatest movies ever made: Apocalypse Now.
Many of those interviewed for Machete Maidens Unleashed, including directors Eddie Romero, Jack Hill and Brian Trenchard-Smith as well as actors Sid Haig, Pam Grier, Gloria Hendry and Margaret Markov, had first-hand experience of the insanity that was shooting a movie in the Philippine jungles. In the early days, many of the locals carried guns (Jack Hill claims that he and several of his crew saw a man shot to death in a hotel lobby), and relied on local “talent” for everything, even pyrotechnics! From the excessive heat to the large bugs and rodents (Sid Haig claims he watched a rat carry off a kitten), not to mention a lack of any sort of safety protocol (several local stuntmen were killed over the years), it was, as Trenchard-Smith called it, the “Wild East” of low-budget filmmaking.
Many actresses, hoping it would lead to better parts in the future, stripped to their birthday suits and allowed themselves to be put into some dangerous situations. One was tied down naked and, with only a sheet of glass to protect her, found herself face-to-face with a venomous cobra!
Yet, thanks to the low costs associated with these productions, the movies continued to make money. According to Roger Corman, who admitted he “Did not care” for The Big Doll House, it cost $100k to make that picture and it took in over $4 million!
As with Not Quite Hollywood and Electric Boogaloo, Hartley brings an incredible energy to Machete Maidens Unleashed, cutting back-and-forth from interviews to film clips at a pace that makes the documentary, at times, feel like an action film. This, plus additional commentary by the likes of John Landis, Danny Peary, and the duo of Joe Dante and Allan Arkush, who in the ‘70s were tasked by Roger Corman’s New World Pictures to cut trailers for these Filipino movies (Corman admits at one point that the trailers were often better than the movies themselves), Machete Maidens Unleashed is a fascinating glimpse into, as the movie’s subtitle states, The Wild, Untold Story of the Filipino exploitation explosion.
If you’re like me, the minute Machete Maidens Unleashed is over, you’ll be seeking out many of the titles mentioned, if for no other reason than to see if the movies themselves are as crazy as what went on behind the scenes. Of the ones I’ve watched already, I can tell you: they absolutely are!
Rating: 9 out of 10
Reporter Akiru Inugami (Sonny Chiba), whose nickname is “Wolf”, leaps from his car and approaches the near-crazed guy. Still in a panic, the man, a criminal named Hanamura (Rikiya Yasuoka), tells Inugami that he is running from a Tiger, and that the “Curse of Miki” is coming for him.
Inugami follows him into an alley, where Hanamura is torn to shreds before his eyes. There is no tiger that we can see; he was seemingly slaughtered by an invisible force.
Thus begins director Kazuhiko Yamaguchi’s Wolf Guy. Based on a 1970 manga, Wolf Guy is jam-packed with action, mystery, and even horror. Sonny Chiba alone usually guarantees a fun film, and for my money this is one of his most entertaining.
With the help of his partner Arai (Harumi Sone), Inugami discovers that Miki is, in fact, signer Miki Ogata (Etsuko Nami), who was once engaged to the son of a powerful politician. None too happy with the match, this politician, with a little help, had Miki kidnapped and gang-raped by a band of Yakuzas, an encounter that infected her with uncurable syphilis. Her engagement off and her spirit broken, Miki now makes a living belting out tunes at a strip club, and begging for money to support her drug habit.
Inugami takes a special interest in Miki, whose hatred and anger is unleashed in the form of an invisible tiger, one that exacts revenge on those who ruined her life.
Inugami wants to help Miki in her quest for justice, but as we learn over time, he does so for his own reasons.
The first half of Wolf Guy is shrouded in mystery. Immediately after the strange and very violent pre-title sequence (blood flows from Hanamura’s deep gashes), the opening credits play over a flashback, in which an entire village is gunned down, leaving no survivors save a very young boy. This and many of the film’s other questions will eventually be answered, with each new revelation (including a cool one at the halfway point about Inugami’s heritage) more jaw-dropping than the last.
Along with the mystery, the movie boasts plenty of action, with Sonny Chiba kicking ass time and again as he takes on the gang that has basically enslaved Miki. Much like Chiba’s The Street Fighter and The Bodyguard, he puts a hurting on his opponents.
Which brings me to another facet of Wolf Guy: its blood and gore. The attacks by Miki’s “tiger” are violent as hell, as are Chiba’s fight scenes. That said, the movie also features what might be the single most disturbing torture sequence I ever sat through, a moment so graphic and shocking that, to decrease its impact, the filmmakers tinted it with psychedelic colors.
The film’s full title is Wolf Guy: Enraged Lycanthrope, and while it does occasionally delve into Werewolf territory, fans of that particular subgenre will likely be disappointed (it becomes more of a plot point in the final act, yet is never explored as much as I would have liked). Still, with action aplenty, a jazzy score, some stylish camerawork (chase scenes are shot hand-held), and a final showdown that you won’t soon forget, Wolf Guy is as exciting, intriguing, and amazing as they come.
Rating: 9.5 out of 10
